Hakuna Matata. What a wonderful phrase...

Roommates

2005-12-12T21:05:00.000-08:00

Sometime's you feel like a nut, you know? I just want to explode and list all of the 5 thousand things wrong with my roommate, but I won't.

I go home in four days, so starting a fight with my roommate now would be pointless. It's not like she gives me a choice anyway. I once wrote her a note explaining my frustration and she explained to me that she hates when I write her notes as opposed to talking to her. I took her advice and approached her the next time I had a problem. She cried and told me I was rude and shouldn't talk to her about these things. So I am basically banned from giving my opinions or complaining to her about anything in life. Excellent.

She put a bicycle in the hallway, it's been there since the fall. I asked her what she's going to do with it once winter rolls along, and she just yelled at me, telling me she has more important things on her mind. While she's thinking about her priorities, mine are simple: I do not want to fall over this bike when I walk in. I do not want to have to hug the hallway wall to get past this domineering means of transportation.

Last night she moved her chair right next to my headboard, and as I slept she watched television while chewing loudly and very obnoxiously eating potato chips.

I have four days left. I do not know if I will be able to hold in my frustration. I will try, but I am not making any promises.

Saved By the Bell Episode

2005-12-07T13:29:00.000-08:00

Finals are coming up. Everybody is stressed and panicking. Everybody but me. Why, you ask? Well it's because I only have two finals, both of which will not be particularly difficult. I hope to do very well on both of them, with just an hour or two of studying for each exam. So why am I nervous?

I have this tendency to forget very important events, deadlines, assignments. I am very absent minded so to say. I tried solving this problem by purchasing a planner. This plan worked for a month or so, and then I began to forget to bring my planner with me and in turn write important events and such down, hence the absent mindedness kicking in again.

I am pretty sure I do not have any other large assignments due, and that once my finals are completed, I can go home to relax and enjoy my winter break. I don't think I have to turn anything in before I leave, I hope that I don't.

I'm really looking forward to a peaceful vacation, without having to worry about any schoolwork. As Jessie Spano would sing, "I'm so excited.. I'm so excited.. I'm so... scared.." Will caffiene pills be necessary if I find out that my anticipation is completely misleading?

To be continued...

Gobble Gobble

2005-11-30T07:10:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving break was nothing special this year. In fact, it was actually quite depressing. Who knew that a holiday promoting family and appreciation of life could turn out to be a holiday that points out the lack of family and lack of appreciation. Who was at our thanksgiving table, you ask? What thanksgiving table, I ask you?

This Turkey day consisted of me doing schoolwork in my bedroom while eating some holiday themed food. My brother slept in his room all day, and my poor mother locked herself in her room, distracting herself with television shows and movies. My grandfather lay in the hospital, and my aunt and uncle went to work.

For the first time, I felt like I had no family, and nothing to be thankful for. This Thanksgiving made me feel like everything was falling apart. But then I began to rethink things. I am best friends with my mother, and we care very much about each other and are always taking care of one another. People would kill for a relationship that I have with my mother, so why am I the sad one?

Families barely acknowledge eachother for 364 days of the year and then gather for one day and put on this fake lovey dovey act and make their lives seem utopian, when in fact they're falling apart. Why are these people making me feel bad? I do have a family, a family I wouldn't trade for anything. So what if there was no thanksgiving table this year for me, I have thanksgiving every other day of my life. Gobble Gobble.

Weather or not , here I come

2005-11-17T18:33:00.000-08:00

What has been going on in Boston? I wake up yesterday, I put on a sweatshirt, a jacket and my boots and step outside. Little did I know it was 65 degrees. Excellent, at first at least. By 2pm I was getting a bit nervous. 65 degrees in mid-November is NOT normal. I come home in the late afternoon to find my roommate asking me, "Hey Lez, is this weather scaring you?" Oh yes.

This morning, I wake up, put on a long sleeved T-shirt and a light jacket and head out to do errands. Five minutes outside and I think I have frostbite. What is going on? It was 65 degrees yesterday now it's -65? Are we entering the twilight zone? Oh dear, that may be very interesting.

I hav three friends coming to visit me. I got a phone call asking me what wardrobe they should pack, so I explained to them that the Boston weather hasn't made up its mind of whether its spring, fall, or winter and that they should be prepared for anything from bathing suits to snowsuits. Who knows, maybe we'll wake up and we won't be in Kansas anymore, but in Munchkinland.

The Fall of Shame

2005-11-09T13:21:00.000-08:00

I never walk on Bay State Road. I have no need to. But today, my professor forgot the midterms in her office, and told us to pick them up at the Religion department located on 145 Bay State Road. So after my class, I took an alternate route to my next class, via Bay State.

I was on the phone with my mother, figuring out a convenient day to purchase tickets for a show. Suddenly, my phone flies out of my hands and onto the sidewalk. I find myself face down on Bay State Road. I was so nervous. I didn't want to get up, because I had this terrible feeling that my nose woul be in some strange shape and I'd be covered in blood.

I slowly rose and began to feel my face. Everything seemed alright. My nose was right in between my eyes, I didn't see anything red on my hands after wiping my face, I was going to be just fine. As I looked to the side, I see that I was right next to the new Hillel building. I thought for a second, that maybe the people who didn't see me fall, would think I was maybe praying to God right outside the building of worship. Then I realized, that might be even more embarressing.

I picked up my phone which was on the other side of the street after my bellyflop onto the sidewalk, and continued on my way. Nobody stopped to help me or ask me if I was alright. I liked it better that way, because it gave me this false hope that nobody saw it happen. What you didn't see, didn't happen, right?

I blame my professor for forgetting the midterms. It's not my fault that I wasn't paying attention as I was walking and talking on the phone while reading my exam. It's hers. Or the University's for having such faulty cement, I can't decide.

I didn't get the memo

2005-11-03T08:48:00.000-08:00

It's really over. I thought I would be relieved and happy, instead I find myself crying everyday and unable to concentrate on anything. I was on the Amtrak coming home for the weekend, and I swear the people sitting next to me must have thought I escapted the looney bin. One minute I was in tears, the next laughing while on the phone, and then back to crying. I don't blame them for thinking I'm crazy. I very well may be.

Breaking up with my boyfriend did not seem so hard at the time, but as soon as I hung up the phone, I ran to the GSU bathroom and sat there, creating a puddle of tears on the floor of my stall. Everything was going so well, it was AMAZING. He was planning on coming up from NY for the weekend to see me. We were at the peak of our relationship. Suddenly, I got a phone call from him explaining to me that him that because I am a year older and a grade ahead in college, in the long run, it is impossible for us to work out. The point of his call was not to tell me their opinion, but to explain to me that now he was re-thinking everything.

We had a long time to go before the "long term" stuff needs to be discussed, but regardless, what right do his parents have to tell him it cannot work out? If I knew they were fortune tellers and had ESP, I'd be over there asking them all sorts of questions. Anyway, back to the story. His parents saw into the future and saw why me being older by a year was a huge problem making our relationship impossible in the long run, and he explained that his parents are ALWAYS right and know what's best.

I then thought about what he was telling me all night, and came to the conclusion that I do not want to be with someone who lets people make decisions for him that only he can make. I ended it. I love him, but he's just not ready to be in a relationshp if he let his parents' words influence him and make him secon guess everything he felt. I deserve better. But apparently, I didn't get the memo that a relationship cannot work out if the woman is older by a year. My aunt and uncle didn't get that memo either. Poor Ashton and Demi, are they in for a surprise.

College is the best four years of your life..why make it 3?

2005-10-26T13:32:00.000-07:00

Registration for second semester is approaching, and as I began formatting my schedule and meeting with my advisors, I realized that it's possible for me to graduate early. At first, I became very excited by this discovery. No more paying my rent, no more classes, no more long distance relationship with my boyfriend and my family. What could be better? I will go abroad this summer take 2 classes, overload in the fall of 'O6 and graduate in December of '06. Excellent, right? Wrong!

Graduating means life. Life means work. Work means being an adult. An adult means no more parents to support me, no excuses, nothing. I'll be on my own. I don't even know what I want to do with my life, how can I start looking for a job if I'm not sure what field I want to go into? Here, at BU, I have my routine- class, sleep, and extracirriculars. As much as we were told that college means responsibilities, besides getting work done and doing well, we really have none. If we don't go to class, we won't do as well. But in the real world- if we don't go to work- we get fired. Life is tough.

I want to be in New York getting my life started, but that's assuming I know what kind of life I want to lead. So in the next few months, I will have to make the decision of a lifetime. Do I go abroad and graduate early? Do I stay at BU for the entire 4 years and relax and have an easy life my 2nd semester of senior year? It's a really tough decision, and only I can make it. But how do I decide?

No more pencils no more books...

2005-10-17T18:44:00.000-07:00

Today I quit my job at the Baldwin Early Learning Center. I have mixed feelings about my decision. As much as I loved the children and enjoyed their outrageous daily comments, I also loved getting more than four hours of sleep a night, and let's face it- my sleep is more important at this point in my life.

I have two 6pm-9pm classes and the days I don't have them, I have 7-9pm meetings. Over the weeks I've been noticing that by 11am I am a walking zombie, completely dazed and in my own galaxy. I would have to take a daily one hour nap to make sure I can stay up past 5pm. It really isn't healthy, I decided.

My mother keeps making me feel guilty that I am now temporarily unemployed (as of 2 hours ago) and that I need the money. I know she's right, but I just wished she understood it from my point of view where I am going to bed at 1am after a busy night of meetings and homework and waking up at 6am. It was really not that bad the first week, but it's catching up with me. I was always the hyper crazy funny girl. Now I'm the half-asleep, slow to laugh at jokes, missing half of the conversations going on around me girl. I can't live like this.

So for now, though I only have 11 dollars to my name, I will be able to laugh at a joke 15 seconds after it is told, instead of 45. Sweet. My life is back to normal.

Weather permitting

2005-10-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

This weekend has been so depressing. The rain really prevents me from doing everything I want to be doing, well almost everything. I have been waking up for the past few days only to be greeted by the puddles of water surrounding my open windows. I hate the rain. Did the sun take a vacation and decide not to tell anyone? That's so selfish.

I have not been going to the gym like I usually do, because the rain just tempts me (successfully) to stay home and in bed. So I do. And it's really very mean. I have a life, you know, and things I need to take care of. I need to get out of my house and do some food shopping, go work out, get to the library. But NO. The rain decided to drop by and stay for quite a while and spitefully prevent me from getting anything done. Selfish.

This morning, I woke up stunned. A strange bright light was shining down on my face, warming it with a collection of rays and beams. I was perplexed. What was this odd heat illuminating my face? Then I realized that the sun finally decided to take its sweet time and come back. Thanks a lot Sun. Where were you when I needed you the most?

I hope this week isn't as gloomy and rainy. I really have several tests to study for and papers to write and exercises to do. I'm going to New York this weekend and so I am hoping the rain doesn't decide to take a trip down with me. Because after all, that would be selfish.

Bostonians need to learn some manners and be more like New Yorkers.

2005-09-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

Being a Junior at BU, I should be used to the MBTA system by now. I should realize that no matter how much room is in the back of the T, people refuse to budge an inch. I should understand that there are Freshman on the T who have not gotten the hang of things yet and don't understand that if there is an empty seat,they should take it so there can be more room for the rest of us to stand. I should prepare myself for the inappropriate touching and strange level of closeness that I reach with the stranger who is standing next to, or should I say on top of, me. I should not expect people to move away from the doors when the T stops so that people who need to step off can do so. I most certainly should not expect people to take advantage of deoderants and various breath freshenining tools. But I do. Coming from New York, I am very much used to the public transportation system. Not only am I used to it, I am one of those rude and selfish passengers who will push and shove my way into and out of the Long Island Rail Road and the subway systems. Regardless, we New Yorkers have respect for the other rude and selfish passengers on the trains and understand the need for rushing and pushing, so we try to accomodate our fellow commuters. In Boston, especially the B line from Blanford to Babcock Street, the T riders need a lesson in manners. If I have to get off at a certain stop, it's the responsibility of the three freshman blocking the doors to step off for 20 seconds to let me off. If there is room on the T towards the back, it's the good samaritan law to step back and make room for those of us trying to get on while the rain is giving us a shower that we do not need or want. Most importantly, if there is any inappropriate handling of any sort on the T, it's the responsibility of this groper to apologize and try to move slightly as to avoid the awkward situation. I wish that BU students would take some time and learn the proper etiquette of T travel and act somewhat more responsibly and politely, such as those of us from New York.

Reality is getting in the way of life

2005-09-20T21:01:00.000-07:00

Last week, I began my first real job. I am an assistant teacher at an early learning center in Brighton. I work the morning shift throughout the entire school week from 7:00 A.M. until 9:15 A.M. every day. I have always considered myself a morning person as opposed to a night person, but lately I've been getting the feeling that I'm neither. I have come to the conclusion that I am a 10:00am through 8:00pm person. For the first week of work, I had no problems waking up at 6:20 A.M. and rushing to put myself together in 15 minutes. This week, I can't say that's true. I am waking up very early and finding that I go to sleep very late, hence being tired all day, every day. I definitely need this job, not only for the teaching experience, but more importantly, for the money. It pays very well and is a great resume filler, especially if I want to go into the educational field. This is where reality is getting in the way. Ideally, I would love to sleep until 9:00 A.M. and get ready for my 11 o'clock classes every day and have Thursdays off, but work is just not letting me do so. I would love to not have a job and be able to relax after 1:00 P.M. on Tuesdays and Fridays, and nap between 1:00pm and 6:00pm Monday and Wednesdays, but that doesn't seem to be happening. I know that I just have to deal and understand that hey, that's life. You can't always get what you want, but then again you can't always get up at six in the morning and function the entire day. I never even knew what 6:20 A.M. looked like until I started to work for the Baldwin Early Learning Center. I guess I'm not a morning person, and I guess I will have to deal with the annoying reminder that reality bites.

Community Service- is it really service to the community- or to yourself?

2005-09-12T19:44:00.002-07:00

So today was a very interesting day. All was going well, besides for my early morning at the Early Learning Center. Six o'clock PM rolled around, and it was time for my PR in Non Profit Settings class. I had been looking forward to this course all summer, from the moment I registered. The professor is fabulous, and I cannot wait to see what's in store this semester. However, we played a game called the Two Minute Drill. Each of the students had to pretend that he or she was being interviewed for a job and give a two minute speech of what makes him or her special, unique, qualified and perfect for the job (or the class, in this case). By 7:30, my name had yet to be called, and I was getting impatient and tired. Finally the teacher finished and I had to raise my hand to do the whole shpiel of how for some reason she hadn't called my name, etc. As I began to recite my Two Minute Drill, I found myself going off on tangents and basically professing my love to community service and how I think it's very important to help people if we have the ability and opportunity to do so. I thought my little speech was quite good, but as I left class at 9 O'clock, I began to think otherwise. I realized that while I love doing community service, I don't only do it to help people, but I do it to make myself feel better and sort of justify some things in my life. I know that I'm being very critical of myself right now, but I can't help but wonder what it takes to get to the point when the service you do, the volunteering you do, is of the purest intentions. Can you ever do community service to genuinely help those less fortunate and not for the good feelings of an ego boost or self assurance? I am nto saying that I only do it to make myself feel like a good person, but I want to at some point reach that level where that isn't even a thought in my mind. I just hope that point comes soon, because I do a lot of volunteering around the Boston area, and honestly, I'm feeling a little guilty that I feel so good when I'm done. Maybe I'm asking too much of myself, because I am human, and mostly everyone's actions are somehow based on selfish deeds. So maybe I should take back my concerns and just hope that everyone acts upon these selfish desires to feel good about themselves, because either way, these people are being helped, regardless of the potential volunteers' motives. I guess I am just hoping for a Utopian world where everyone helps those less fortunute strictly out of genuine kindness and sincerity, void of all personal intentions. Until then, we'll all have to be a little selfish.

Do we still stand united?

2005-09-10T09:06:00.000-07:00

September 11th is right around the corner, and I can't help but wonder how long it will be until the United States becomes completely apathetic? It seems like the tragic day is so far away, but it was only four years ago when we lost thousands of loved ones. Of course in 2002, September 11th was a huge deal, and precautions were taken throughout the country. You had to be a fool not to realize that it was the one year anniversary of the devastating day. 2003 was somewhat similar, not as many precations were taken, but it wasn't as mournful of a day. Last year, however, I know that I for one completely forgot that it was September 11th and did not remember until late that night. Everyone around me also completely forgot, and when we were reminded of it,it still didn't seem like such a big deal. I worry that soon, it will become just like President's Day, a day that everyone recognizes, but with no personal attachment or feelings attached. That says a lot about our country. But then again, I can't say that I am surprised. Just look at how the country is handling Hurricane Katrina's destructiveness. I've always been proud to live in the United States and I've always felt safe. Now, not so much. Not so much at all. Not only am I embarrassed of the actions we've been taking (or should I say NOT taking), but I think I feel more threatened and unsafe than I ever have. I guess we'll see.